5 de janeiro de 2008

Romanticuzinha (noite de TPM, finjam que me adoram!! VIUUU VIUUU??? VIU?? ai...)


Têm alguns clichês que são inexplicáveis.
Como, por exemplo, sempre que perguntam "o que você repara primeiro na outra pessoa", a resposta cretina é "o olhar". HEIN?
Alguns ainda respondem "o sorriso", aí até entendo, ter todos os dentes na boca é visualmente bem mais agradável, mas "o olhar"???? Que cazzo quer dizer isso? Será que ainda acham isso romântico? Coloco uma tampinha de SKOL como piercing de umbigo se alguém aqui repara no "olhar" logo de cara...rs.

Depois de se apaixonar perdidamente por aquele dragão de olhar encantador, vêem as qualidades exigidas. Aí é um festival de frases prontas e palavras que copiam e colam sem saber o significado.

"Quero um homem/mulher sincera, alegre, honesta, que seja fiel, que me respeite, que queira crescer, que me ame e blablablablabla"

Ok, vamos lá, sincera (o) né? Então tu queres uma pessoa que diga que você precisa emagrecer urgente e que 5 quilos ainda é pouco! Já sei, queres alguém que diga que baita gostosa passou lá no trabalho ontem pra vender Natura no departamento! Pois é, sinceridade tem limites...

Alegre? Quem é feliz o tempo todo é pobre! E se é pobre vai demorar pra "crescer"! Pelo menos é garantia de honestidade né colega? Afinal, pobre que é pobre se orgulha de ser honesto! Ou seja, escolha: feliz ou rico....

Que seja fiel? Nem deus é mais fiel, minha senhora, aliás, ultimamente só aquela torcida que canta "aqui tem um bando de frouxo, frouxo por ti Curintia" está sendo fiel. É claro, até a próxima invasão no treinamento, pra chamar alguém de mercenário (só porque pediu um aumento).

Que te respeite? Isso quer dizer pra ele não te encher de porrada e tu usar a "Maria da Penha" ou é simplesmente não passar a mão na sua bunda antes de casar? Defina respeito em 30 laudas, por favor.

Que te ame? Vá bem colega, repita esse mantra logo após o primeiro xixi matinal: "Ele me ama e eu nem gosto tanto dele assim, iupi!". Porque amar e ser amada intensamente está out of fashion (mais conhecido como 'fora de moda total Perua!') e ainda cria rugas depois que acabar o dinheiro, digo, o amor...

Tá bem tá bem, tentem classificar este post como uma coisa de mulherzinha mal comida reclamando do mundo, mas já lhes digo, leitores aliados, tenho pavor deste tipo de texto. Porém, no entanto, todavia, não obstante, eu passei o dia vendo programas tipo "namoro na TV" no meu pior dia de TPM do mês. O que fez minhas expressões faciais oscilarem muito, se é que vocês me entendem...

"Quando eu assisto TV e vejo todas essas pobres crianças famintas pelo mundo, eu não consigo segurar o choro. Eu adoraria ser magra como elas, mas não com todas essas moscas e mortes e coisas do tipo." (Mariah Carey, mais conhecida como Maraia Carei)

51 comentários:

  1. Vou matar de vez tua TPM: que bom que vc ao menos é mal comida, e eu que nem comida sou! huahuahuahuahuahuahuahuhauhua!!!

    [essa frase da Maraia Queri é realmente de fuder o cu do peão!]

    ResponderExcluir
  2. esse texto aí me lembrou que tô carente, mas não tenho mais TPM, engordei 6 kgs e minhas lágrimas secaram
    ô

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  3. Moça, TPM ou não, o texto é ótimo. MA _ RA _ VI _ LHO _ SO para reflexão!

    (ainda bem que TPM passa!!!!)

    ResponderExcluir
  4. eu concordo com pelo menos metade das coisas q vc falou.

    "Ele me ama e eu nem gosto tanto dele assim, iupi!". Porque amar e ser amada intensamente está out of fashion (mais conhecido como 'fora de moda total Perua!')

    sei lá... isso é infelizmente, ou é bom?

    ResponderExcluir
  5. "Quando eu assisto TV e vejo todas essas pobres crianças famintas pelo mundo, eu não consigo segurar o choro. Eu adoraria ser magra como elas, mas não com todas essas moscas e mortes e coisas do tipo." (Mariah Carey, mais conhecida como Maraia Carei)



    Menina... isso não é verdade, é????

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  6. Ah, eu gosto do olhar encantador... (ui!)

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  7. Quer um lança-chamas?

    Gostaria de presenciar a oscilação de suas expressões faciais.

    PS: "Ai, ainda não, Márcio..."

    ResponderExcluir
  8. Aaaiii...eu diria que pra mim o cara nem precisa ter nenhuma dessas qualidades utopicas aí não..."comparecendo" sempre que eu necessitar já está bom !! kkkkkk...P

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  9. Essa do olhar é foda mesmo...
    TPM o pior dia de nossas vidas!
    Beijossssssss

    ResponderExcluir
  10. Se for de frente, eu reparo no rosto, se for de costas, eu olho o traseiro mesmo =P

    e nós te adoramos, Café

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  11. Eu já dou uma sacada na bunda mesmo.

    \o/

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